WHAT SHOULD I ASK SOMEONE I WISH TO PROPOSE TO/OR IS PROPOSING TO ME?
There is nothing more important than family, and on the head of the family are the parents. They need to be involved in the most vital decision you are making, which is why the worst and most disloyal thing to do is bypass them and keep them away from who you are getting to know.
They need to be involved, but ultimately the complete choice is yours, which is why the initial meeting with the prospect spouse is crucial.
You probably won’t be satisfied with one meeting, but if vigilant it would be enough for you to decide. In reality, you could even live with a person for years and still not know who they really are or what their real character is. That’s why you make sure your primary option is based on two foundations: “Being religious” and “of high moral standards”.
Of course, what I suggest as a list of questions are only pointers, and you need to use your wisdom and personal skills to pick up on further questions. You could have some other personal preferences or certain priorities in life. Just have pure intentions, be honest, trustworthy and genuine.
The parents of both sides must be promptly notified of the outcome, positive or negative, and both families become aware of any further steps.
Prior to the meeting you might have a thousand thoughts and an array of ideas that you wish to ask; talking about your ambitions, your likes and dislikes, and your expectations. However, if you don’t prepare yourself in the proper way the meeting will not produce the required results for you to decide on whether to go ahead for further stages in the marriage proposal.
GENERAL QUESTIONS ASKED BY BOTH MAN AND WOMAN:
Tell me about yourself in a few words?
What is your goal in life?
How does religion and religious values play a role in your life?
To what extent is faith and belief a part of your personality, like praying, fasting, avoiding haram, etc.?
How do you see your future life to be? What is it based on – religion, culture, work, personal ambitions?
What kind of qualities do you wish to see in your soul-mate?
Are you social? Who are your close friends?
What kind of relationship do you have with your parents/siblings?
Do your parents or family have any issues or ongoing problems?
Do you like children?
What do you do in your spare time; do you have any hobbies?
How often do you go to the Mosque, and where do you attend lectures?
If we have any problems what is your conflict resolution plan?
QUESTIONS TO ASK HIM:
Where will we be living if this goes ahead?
Will we be independent?
Do you have a stable job and income?
Are there any bad habits I need to know about?
Do you have a temper problem?
What are your thoughts on me studying, or working?
Do you have any plans on relocating to another city/country?
Do you have any restrictions on your wife, in seeing her family, or going out?
Do you have any issues of the past that I need to know about that would affect our relationship?
If we have any problems or fights are you going to quickly abandon me?
QUESTIONS TO ASK HER:
What’s your view on how an ideal relationship should be?
What would you really hate for your husband to be/do?
Do you have any specific demands for the engagement, the mahr, the wedding, or anything after that?
How important do you think correct hijab is?
If we have to live somewhere else are you ok with that?
Do you like to have your own children, if so how many?
Are you a spender?
Are there any bad habits I need to know about?
How would you like your husband to treat you; is there anything you’re scared of?
Do you go out too much?
Do you let others influence you, and are you too attached to anyone, like your mother, or a friend?
